Glasses

I used to work at Disneyland when I was in high school. For about the first year, my parents insisted on driving me to and from work, ensuring my safety if I wasn't behind the wheel. My dad is a punctual man, so if I ended a shift at 5, he'd be there promptly at 5:20 to pick me up, knowing that I would need those 20 minutes for the shuttle to drop me off in the employee parking lot.  Unfortunately, this meant that my mom would arrive at 6:30.  My mom has never been a slave to schedules. She was a career woman who prioritized time to be a mom whenever she could squeeze it in. (By no means are things exactly the same now, but this is half a lifetime ago for me.) We live about 15 to 20 minutes away, but honestly, this is just how she operates.
Mom would arrive in a hurry, honking the horn if I didn't approach the car fast enough. So one day, she picks me up the standard hour late.
She says, "Sorry. I really was going to be on time, but right when I was getting ready to leave, I couldn't find my glasses. I went and looked everywhere, and finally just found my old pair of glasses."
I stared blankly at her and said, "Oh. And then you realized that they were on top of your head?"

"What?!? They are?"

Those were the days before camera phones.  Oh how I wished I had a picture of it to show you.  My mom's old glasses were the huge ones that covered up half your face.  And the look of surprise was priceless, as she touched the top of her head and realized that I was telling the truth.

She insisted on sharing this story with everyone who would listen that week.